First day back to classes, and I’m sitting here in the computer lab staring at my notebook, trying to figure out which of my stories that I want to work on. I have the (physical) notebook for Ashes with me, but I’ve got an older work pulled up on the computer. It occurs to me that I have four or five open stories that I’m working on, two semi-solid ideas floating in my head, and a couple of Dragon Age prompts that I’ve considered taking on.
What I’m (actively) working on:
- On the Ashes of Riverside
- The Witch Queen’s War (again)
- Per Vertutem Sanguinis (Dragon Age Prompt)
What’s still in my personal queue: (meaning they’re also partially written)
- Curse of Ancient (I will finish this, damn it.)
Ideas floating around:
- The City Lights (possibly nano15?)
Opps. How did this even happen?
I love all my stories dearly, I just get distracted very easily. Once I get an idea into my head, I latch onto it. And, in all honesty, I never really put any of my stories aside. All of the documents are there in their own neat little folders, waiting to be worked on. The only one I haven’t really touched recently is Nuit, which was my Nano10 work. I think. Curse was finished, but then my laptop exploded.
Someone had to learn the hard way about what can happen when you don’t back up your novel to more places than just a computer. Most of it was saved, but the ending (the ending of all F@&%$!G things!) was lost. I still haven’t written the ending back out yet, because, surprise surprise, I want to change it. I don’t think it sounded good enough.
And that’s another big problem for me. I’m never content with what I’ve written. I always look back at what I’ve written and wonder ‘what the hell is this mess?’
No, seriously. I’ve turned in papers like that. The last one didn’t even sound coherent to me. All I know is that there was something in there comparing a line in Frankenstein to a line in the Nicene Creed. I think.
I got an A+ on the paper, just throwing that out there.
But I’m really hard on myself when it comes to what I’m writing. That’s what makes nano such a challenge for me. It isn’t the word count. I can, and have, done that with little problem more than once. It’s the fact that I’m never satisfied with what I get down. I write two lines, and I’m tempted to erase all but a few words because I think they sound awful.
In reality, they usually don’t sound that bad. I’m aware that I do have some talent as a writer. I wouldn’t do so well in my classes if I didn’t, but it’s hard to recognize that when I’m actively working on a project.
And it isn’t limited to writing. I do the same thing with any creative thing that I work on.
I have insanely high standards for myself. There are very few people who can ever be harder on my writing than I am, personally. There is seriously nothing that I don’t criticize when it comes to my writing.
So this is an ongoing fight with me. It’s one of the reasons that I have so many open stories that I’m still working on. Ashes and The Witch Queen both have outlines. As in completed, beginning to end, outlines. So those two are my first goal.
Of course, I edit outlines. Seriously. I even edit and criticize my outlines. No joke.
Anyway. That’s my goal for the New Year. I don’t make resolutions, because I’m not the type of person to do them, but that’s a goal for me this year. I want to finish some of these stories.
I also want to try and update my blog more. Hopefully, one goal will influence the other.